Be.

Have you ever had those times in your life when you feel like you keep hearing the same message over and over again? And I don't mean the actual same message, but more like the same idea. For example, let's say you are currently having problems with fear and it seems that every church service you go to, the message of being courageous seems to be hitting you in the face. Know what I mean? God is funny that way, I suppose.

Lately, the only message I seem to be hearing is the message to love. And not just to love people, but to love the church.

That should be easy, right? After all I am a Christian. And being raised in the church can produce some really beautiful things. However, there is the tendency for cynicism to grow from that beauty.

And if I can be accused of anything, it is having the penchant to look at things from a cynical standpoint. Especially church-related things.

I have oh so very many opinions about the modern church. I'm not entirely thrilled with it. I listen to messages with a cynical outlook, I approach fellowship with a guarded heart, and I worship with a wariness as to whether or not the band is actually singing from a genuine heart or the desire to showcase their talents. In fact, I could write countless posts on all of the things I disagree with in the church.

However.

I could sit here and rant until I'm blue in the face, but talk is never going to get me anywhere. Only action will. And it seems the action God wants me to take is one that doesn't seem to involve much action at all...to stay. In fact, if I'm interpreting the messages I've been hearing every second*, then I think what I need to be doing is not just talking about all the things I disagree with, but to actually start doing something about them.

I should take this moment to be honest. I am not a patient person. I am the exact opposite of a patient person. Which doesn't make sense, considering generally I'm a pretty laid back person. However, when I want something done, I want it done now. Especially when it is something that I am passionate about. It's horrible I know. I wish I had the patience of a nun, but I do not. At least not right now. God and I are working on that.

And let's be honest. Change so rarely happens quickly. In fact, it seems to move with all the speed and purpose of a disabled sloth. And that is quite frustrating when you are an impatient person with a heart for ministry that is longing for the church to stop being such a slug and actually be the church God wants us to be. But once again, complaining about it will never solve anything.

So I have a problem with the way Christians love each other? Well then, I'll pray that God sends those who don't feel loved into my path. I hate the legalism and move towards religious nonsense that some churches seem to be leading with? Well then, I work on viewing others without bias and judgement, and focus on the things that matter. Like loving and being a servant to everyone.

It's pretty simple and cliche stuff. It just seems to be hitting me in a new way lately. Probably because God has been throwing it in my face every chance, but whatever. It's finally sticking.

And that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop blogging about my various *ahem* disagreements about the church. I am an opinionated person. That will never change. However, action is going to accompany these posts and hopefully I'll be able to share some thrilling news soon. But probably not, because once again...change is a sloth.

Anyways...today is the first day of October! How joyous! Everyone should love this month. It is seriously the best of the Autumn season. Pumpkins, Halloween, sweater weather...EVERYTHING. So please go and enjoy all that you can out of this glorious month.