God's presence. Oh my goodness. Is there anything more beautiful than experiencing it?
I really don't think there is. It's just so fulfilling, you know? So full of peace and just...rightness. I'm not even sure rightness is a word, but I'm going to use it anyways. It's just so wonderful. The way it makes me feel...it's like seeing the boy you're in love with. That feeling of nervous butterflies that consumes you so much you can't even form a coherent thought. It's just like that. At least for me. And last Thursday, I experienced that presence in a way I have always wanted too: by crying. I know that sounds weird, but I've always wanted to cry in God's presence and I rarely do. I closed my eyes and felt His presence in such a tangible way. I could practically feel Him hugging me and calming all of my insecurities. I've been a Christian all of my life and I've never felt something like that before. But let me tell you, it's such a beautiful, wonderful amazing thing.
And it's in these moments that I get it. I finally get what it means to fall in love with Him everyday.
Guys, God is just so good. I could fill pages and pages of words describing Him, but never get close to accurately describing how perfect He is. I am completely blown away by Him. And the beauty of my relationships rests in the knowledge that He wants me. To him, I am enough. And I can't tell you how much that means to me.
See, I've never really "fit in" anywhere. I've walked through countless circles of friends, but I've never found a place where I belong, as pathetic as that sounds. I'm just either too much or too little. Too outspoken in my opinions or too soft-spoken and forgettable. And truly, for once I am not writing this from a place of self-pity or victimization. It's just kind of a fact. A fact that I am becoming quite okay with. I've learned so much from it. I've learned what it means to be independent and most importantly, what it means to truly rely on God.
He is literally my everything.
He is my father, comforting me with soft words of encouragement and love, when I feel worthless and not good enough. As weird as it may sound, he is my husband when I'm having car troubles or feeling not so pretty. And most importantly, he is my best friend when it feels like I have no one. He listens to me. He gives me advice and I truly believe that He laughs with me.
I am blessed beyond belief to experience this. I mean, seriously. Have you ever thought of how incredibly blessed we are to experience His love? It's crazy. And I am so thankful for all of it.
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