Agape--> or lack of it.

Have you noticed how little love there is between Christians today? Actually, let me be more specific, have you noticed how little genuine love there is between Christians today? 

This has been something that has been brewing in my heart for quite some time now and again, please forgive me if it comes out incoherently. But I've noticed we place such an emphasis on loving the lost, which is great and all, but I feel as though we've lost the emphasis of loving each other. 

It's easy to love unbelievers. We see them as lost souls; we don't look at their outsides. But we look at each other on a different level. Since we are secure in each others salvation, for some reason it gives us leeway to judge each other based off of appearances and personality.  And if you don't match the criteria, then...oh well. You're ignored. And the best part? We don't have to feel that guilty about ignoring you because you're already saved!

What irritates the living daylights out of me is when we say, "we really need to show the love of God to others" or "We need to reach out in love to the unbelievers on campus". Isn't it just a wee bit hypocritical of us to say that when we can't even have real fellowship and love between our "brothers & sisters in Christ"?

What happens when you save a non-believer? What should happen is that you maintain a steady relationship with them and help grow each other. However, the reality is, if you aren't exciting enough then you're left alone. That isn't right. How many people do you think have walked away from God because they were ignored and treated like crap at a Christian event? What about people who are depressed, who have contemplated suicide because they feel so lonely and no one will reach out to them? What about the fact that people feel inadequate and unworthy because they don't feel good enough to be part of this "Christian elite" group? How is this what Jesus wants of us? 

I came to Salisbury to find that strong genuine fellowship that I feel like I've been lacking and honestly? I could probably count the number on my hand of genuine Christian people who have actually taken the time to reach out and get to know me. It's ridiculous. It almost makes me hate Christians and I am one! Honestly, I feel like non-believers are more genuine and accepting of me then most of the Christians I've met here. 

I know this post is coming off whiny and I'm sorry. But it just...blows my mind. I'm so frustrated. Being around Christians is where we should feel the most loved. Where we feel so at home. It should be like a strong bond. Instead Christians have taken to judging each other and becoming incredibly cliquey and just plain snobby. 

Maybe for once we should take our focus off of others, and direct it onto ourselves. Would Jesus really be pleased with the way we act towards each other? Would He really be proud of the love we have towards each other?


We always talk about how radical it is to love the lost...wouldn't it be radical if we learned to actually love each other?

Honey I'll Be Gone Before the Nightfall

Ahh Summer. 

Obviously it's the best season. There's no question about that, although fall is a close second. I don't know what exactly it is about summer that makes it so amazing. Maybe it's the incredibly beautiful blue skies, or the immediate warm "hug" you get once you step outside, or the feeling of hot sand between your toes at the beach, or being stupid at the pool, enjoying barbecues, playing outside with your friends, or sitting outside on your deck, sipping on some tea, enjoying an evening thunderstorm. I could go on an on. Summer is just so...busy. Yet relaxing a the same time. People are always outside, always doing something. It's a season of change. And this summer, I'm doing something different. 

I decided to stay in Salisbury this summer and live by myself. I know it's not really a big thing. After all, I'll only be living three hours away. I don't know exactly why, but for some reason I just felt this pressing need to stay in Salisbury this summer. Even as ugly and boring as it can be, I just feel really at home there. Don't get me wrong. I love Frederick. I just feel like I've outgrown it? I'm not sure if that is the right way to describe it...it sounds so snobby and "I'm better than you" and that's not what I mean. It's just...I don't feel like I quite belong here anymore. I don't really have a home church here anymore (not after that whole debacle last year) and my friends here...well we're all moving on with our lives, and we're at different places. I just feel less relate-able now and less like I fit in here. I don't think it has anything to do with those around me, I think it's just the kind of person I am. I've always loved change. I know, it's weird. But I'm the type of person who actually looks forward to changes and new things. I love meeting new people and I love doing things. ALL THE TIME. I want to take as much advantage as I can of being young. I mean, I'm only 20 (well 21 in three months but you know...) And I guess I just feel like living in Salisbury, I'll be able to do that. I have more opportunities to grow and change, at least more than I do in Frederick. I love the church I attend there, and for once there's actually a youth pastor that encourages me in what I want to do. I feel genuinely cared for there. It's a nice feeling. 

As much as I'm going to miss my family and even Frederick, I know Salisbury is where I'm supposed to be this summer. I can't wait to get started on my own little adventure there.

Foreshadow What's to Come

When I think about writing blogs, I imagine sitting at a cool unknown coffee shop on a beautiful autumn afternoon, sipping on some chai and listening to indie music. Instead, I'm in my living room at home, with a humid breeze coming through the windows and sipping on some hot coffee. However, I am listening to a wonderful indie playlist.


So I have one thing right.


I've realized this is my third (fourth if you count tumblr) blog I have started. I suppose I didn't have to create a new blog, I could have just added this on to one of the other ones. But as odd as this may seem, my other have blogs have sort of created a "theme" in themselves and this one wouldn't fit in. The lovely thing about this blog is I have no idea what it's "theme" is. It can be anything.